Lent, Day 12.

8:45: I at least FELT like I slept in... I guess that happens when you hear your roommate leave for work at 6:45 and fall back asleep.

10:45: I spent most of the morning doing laundry, uploading last night's pictures and I finished what I could of my new picture wall - looks like I'm going to have to order new prints. Snapfish is a beautiful thing - every so often they realize business is slow and do a 50 prints for 50 cents deal. Amazing.

3:30: Ally gets home from work and announces that she bought a new couch. I was confused - how did she manage to just bring a couch home from work? She explains it was $15 and is still at Goodwill, waiting to be picked up. Paige and her go back to get it.

4:00: THIS THING IS A MONSTROSITY, HOLY POO.

5:30: After tons and tons of rearranging, the house looks relatively the same minus all of the scratches on the hardwood floor... OrangeGlo!

7:15: Family dinner! Paige makes chicken enchiladas, which I also made when it was my turn, but hers were mad good and 100 times better.

8:30: I go to the library to spend time with Kim. She's stressed and I'm bored. We have some good laughs.

9:30: Jerry and Jim are still over, watching 16 and Pregnant with Ally and Paige, so I watch for a bit. These girls are seriously fucked up and stupid. Clearly they're stupid if they're 16 and pregnant, but just as a clarification, they're dumb as fuck.

Pretty uneventful day!

Lent, Day 11.

11:00: I never fucking get to sleep in. I am so happy that I get out of bed with no problem.

11:04: I don't feel like making food so I open the Cheeseystix box and eat the last stick. Pretty gross since it's been sitting there for 12 hours but it's just cheesey bread, whatever.

11:06: I hear water dripping and realize it's raining outside. I know Paige and Ally had planned on going to the baseball game, but I suppose that's a no-go now. I decide to spend this rainy day tidying up the house and re-decorating my room. If we're staying here a whole 'nother year, I want to fix up my room a bit.

11:15: I spend time taking down pictures and posters that don't match my room (everything is white, black and lime green. Pretty calming environment actually).

1:00: I get in the shower and sing to Club Cutz, which is this 90s techno CD my dad would always play when I was younger. Oldies but goodies.

2:00: I have a coffee and a PBJ. Am I 30 or am I 10? I really need to make up my mind.

4:30: Paige wakes up from her after-school nap and Kim comes over to take a little study break. We talk about periods and pimples. Awesome. Sometimes I really hate being a girl.

5:00: Paige and I leave and visit Ally at work. AJ is there getting a smoothie and informs us a kid we go to school with went crazy and was dropped off at the insane asylum by his roommates. They found coke and X in his system, and he had been carrying a knife everywhere with him. Literally, sleeping with it, showering with it, and they think he killed his dog. What the fuck! I've talked to him... several times! He seemed normal... I guess you never really know someone, huh?

5:15: WalMart, home of the classiest, cleanest, most polite people in America! Also, my voice is really fucked up and I can't say anything in a high octave and when I laugh I squeak. Losing my voice?

6:00: The lady at the self-checkout stand was such a fucking nosy cunt bitch. YES I scanned my paper towels. YES we got the milk. Holy fucking shit, get your head out of your encrusted asshole and approve me to not bag my item. I don't need to be babysat. Especially at fucking WalMart. The people next to me with the pink booty shorts and the tramp stamp and the baby need to be watched much more than I do.

6:30: Gymmmm. Paige gave up a few things for lent, but the only thing she's really stuck with is going to the gym every day. She has this theory that she must kill herself each time she goes, because there's no point of getting all dressed and going there, then half-assing it. I agree. What I'm getting at is that I really like working out with her now because since she stays longer I am forced to stay longer and do more cardio and abs.

7:30: Leftover spaghetti squash with parmesan and leftover cheese pizza. Odd, but so good.

8:30: I change, reapply make-up and start putting up my new picture decor in my room. It's a work in progress but it's going to be way fucking better than the other shit wall, considering sticky-tac and heat don't mix well, and all of the shit was curling / falling off the wall.

9:15: Kim and Dre swing by to pick me up for James' birthday party.

9:30: James is already very drunk, as is Bonus. I called Bonus to inform him that we were there and he answers the phone by saying, "HOLD ON I'M SINGING -- hasjai iiiii hakjsdhhiii agggggrhrhhoaaaaa!" This literally went on for three minutes, so I just hung up and went inside because I was cold and I wanted to start drinking and taking pictures. I brought my SLR with me because I never take pictures anymore and what's better to take pictures of than friends and a birthday party? Well, a lot of things, but I just wanted an excuse to use it.

10:30: By this point I'm at a perfect buzz and I'm talking to everyone in the room. I am a social fucking butterfly when I drink, and I don't know where the confidence or interest comes from, because sober I would know that half the people I talked to are people I can't deal with in everyday life.

11:30: James' shirt is off. I tell some girl I see her in the gym every day and I want to know how she's so skinny. She tells me Cheez-Its and Ice Cream are her secret, and she's not joking. I REALLY want to be her now.

12:00: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES WOOOOOO YAYYYY BIRTHDAYYYY!

12:30: Jenny, JP, Meghan, her two friends, Jess, Alix, Danielle, Brittany, Ali, Chris, Jerry and Jim all come back to Meghan's place to chill - James' was filled with people we didn't know and they were all far more drunk than us.

12:55: Jess, Alix, Brittany, Danielle, Ali, Chris, Jerry and Jim all leave to go home.

1:30: Jenny and JP drop me off at home before they go to Taco Bell. Overall, fun night! Will upload pictures tomorrow.

Lent, Day 10.

8:00: What the FUCK happened last night? Holy shit, Harry's in my bed. Am I wearing clothes? What the fuck is going on?

8:01: After rubbing my eyes I see my clothes and jewelry in a large pile against my wall. Why don't I remember anything past midnight? Why does my phone say I talked to my mom at 12:34 AM for 4 minutes? I HAD ONE DRINK. I LITERALLY HAD ONE DRINK AND A SIP OF A SHOT.

8:05: Harry feels me stretching and wakes up. I don't mind that he's there, but I am curious whether or not we slept together. He tells me nothing happened, then asks me how we got home. He doesn't know either? What the fuck? How DID we get home? Good god.

8:07: He decides that Yogi, a kid on the tennis team, took us home because he didn't drink last night. I get a text from my mom saying "How are you feeling drunkard????" I assume she just received the voicemail, so I called her to ask what I said. I've done this before but I still feel bad, she's one of my best friends but she doesn't need to be drunk dialed.

8:10: I'm talking to my mom when Harry laughs at something I said. My mom hears him, knowing I'm in my bedroom, and asks "Who's there?" I said "...Ally." She goes "Who else?" I tell her fucking everything anyway, so I just tell her Harry's there but that nothing happened. Not that she's the boy police, I'm in college and can do what I want, but I know she wants assurance that her daughter's not a whore. I'm not.

9:20: I put my clothes back on from Hattie's because I'm still drunk and don't feel like showering. My outfit is boots, lace tights and a black mini dress. Classy.

9:30: I make Harry and I coffee and bagels and we sit at the kitchen table with Ally and Paige and talk about last night, since neither of them went. Recapping. One of my favorite pass-times. I suggest we leave to go to class, which is at 10, but I get shit for "just wanting to be there early so I can eye-fuck the teacher." He's cute for an old guy and he's really fucking funny! I don't want to DO him! Jesus.

9:45: I suggest we leave again. Apparently it's still too early because it only takes 6 minutes to get to campus.

9:53: We finally leave.

10:00: We're not there yet.

10:03: Harry and brace ourselves outside of the classroom's door. We know 90% of the class, and they have a vague idea that something is going on between us. I'm wearing hooker boots/tights and Harry has no backpack. I have not washed my face and still have silver eyeshadow on. I am ALWAYS in my seat 10 minutes before class starts and he is always 2 minutes late.

10:03:20: Called it. We get the typical 3rd-grade "OoooOoooOo" noise from half the class, Leah starts laughing and Greg goes "Where were YOU two last night?!" The teacher looks at us, raises his eyebrows at Harry as if saying "Hey man, niceeee." and goes back to taking attendance. I find my way to my seat next to Leah and Harry goes to his seat in the back. Both of our faces are beet-red and Leah is laughing so hard she's crying. FML, right?

10:20: I wake up on my desk to talk of FIFO and LIFO accounting systems, whatever. Go back to sleep.

10:30: Wake up for real this time and start playing Words with Friends under the table to keep me awake. I am listening to the teacher and the students asking him questions about the concepts, and this almost upsets me. Here I am, still drunk, have been asleep for 30 minutes, and I fully understand the concepts. These other kids have been up since 8, have showered, are sober, and are fully awake, and they can't tell their left foot from their right one. Depressing.

10:49: I ask Professor Knight if the new accounting major plan has been approved. It has! Hooray! I will officially change my major and advisor next week officially! I'm so excited.

10:50: Harry and I leave class together and I prepare to part ways and go home and take a nap. He takes my arm and starts leading my towards the student center. I ask where we're going and he said, "We have a date with some zombies that need killing." I decide I like him even MORE.

11:00: We go back to his house and I ask if there's anyway we could just watch House, because my head is starting to hurt and zombies and guns and knives are not exactly what my head can handle at the moment.

11:30: We've watched an episode and I decide to move to the bed because it's way more comfortable than the couch and there's still a good view of his TV. He gets in bed with me, turns on another episode of House and we fall asleep pretty immediately.

2:00: I'm not sure I've been sleeping, more like thinking really deeply and slipping in and out of consciousness. He has his arms around my stomach like a little stuffed animal. It's cute. I decide I'm really hungry and want to go home.

2:02: I peel myself from his arms and get out of bed to put my shoes back on. He immediately wakes up and ask where his personal heater went (my body is almost always warm, no matter how cold I am). I laugh and tell him he has practice in 30 minutes. He groans loudly.

2:20: We walk to the tennis courts because they're on the way home for me. Meghan calls and asks if Harry and I had sex. Random. JP is screaming in the background saying "They did they did they did!" I keep telling them we didn't, but JP is calling me a liar so I hand the phone off to Harry. He calms JP down and assures him we didn't. You'd think JP bet money on it or something and NEEDED us to sleep together. Odd. We get to the courts and part ways.

2:22: I see Max on the way home and he looks at me, then his watch, and back to me. "Isn't it a little late in the day to still be doing the walk of shame?" I want to punch him but in a joking way, Max is probably one of the funniest kids I know.

2:30: I shower and sit on the front porch listening to music and talking to Ally.

3:30: I call Irene and tell her that we are officially accepting the new rent offer and will be residing in this house for another year. Huge weight off my shoulders. Housing is one of the most stressful aspects of college, because it's so hard to find what you're looking for. It's relieving that we're staying here.

5:00: I decide I really want Five Star, so I call them. "Thank you for calling Five Star Pizza, is this for delivery or pick up?" "Delivery." "Hello? Hello?" "Delivery!" *Click* What the hell? I call back, and this time it's a man "Thanks for calling Five Star, pick up or delivery?" "Delivery please." "Hello?!" *Click* What the fuck! I call my dad to see if my phone is working, and long story short he ends up ordering the pizza FOR me, AND paying for it. My cheeseystix should be arriving in 30 minutes. I am so happy.

5:25: The Five Star guy arrives and tells me to sign the receipt. It says "20.11," but Cheeseystix are only $7.99. I go to ask him what the extra charge is for when he pulls out two boxes. One cheeseystix and one large cheese pizza. My dad is the fucking bomb. I miss my family so much, seriousface.

5:45: I tell Harry I have more pizza than I know what to do with so he says he'll come over eventually.

6:00: A stray kitten, whom we call Mini-kit, comes onto our porch. I instinctively shut the porch door behind her so she's trapped on the porch. I don't want to torture the cat, but Ally and I do want to fed it and pet it, and I know it'll run away if I don't shut the door. Mini-Kit got her name because there are multiple strays that live on our street, and the first one we saw got the name Kit. Simple. Mini-Kit looks exactly like Kit, just smaller and thinner, hence her name.

6:10: Mini-Kit is on the futon with me, letting me pet her, when Ally decides to see if Mini-kit would want to go inside.

6:15: They come back outside and Ally says she fed her turkey and milk. The kit really is adorable. It starts sitting at the door, looking outside and wanting to go back out. Definitely an outdoor cat. We take a couple pictures of her then let her go.

7:00: Harry comes over and lets me snuggle into him on the futon. We're both a little chilly so laying on him helped us both. Of course we play Pass-and-Play Words with Friends. We're already predictable, it's kind of funny.

9:00: I get up and straighten my hair and throw some make-up on to go to Jenny's. She is having a small, pre-gaming bonfire before Local Heroes.

9:30: Ally and I arrive at Jenny's and Harry has gone home to shower. We sit outside with Jenny, a lighter, and some yellow pages paper and start lighting shit on fire. We get a good flame going but it's mainly the paper, and not the wood, so it keeps diminishing.

9:50: People arrive. By people, I mean a pack of 30 kids. What the hell? Jenny and I are scared. I know most of them, but I'm still very confused as to how they found out about this and why they're here.

10:30: Kim, Jenny, Ally, Meghan, her four friends and I decide to go to Local Heroes because the fire was going out and we were getting cold. Everyone piles in Ally's car and I drive them over. I'm not drinking tonight because I still feel nauseous for some reason.

11:00: Adam, one of the token gay guys of the school, does the ENTIRE dance to Lady Gaga's Bad Romance. It's fucking amazing, and I worship him.

11:05: This performance makes Alix and Jessica want to do our hip hop routine to Drop it Low. I unwillingly am dragged to the front of the bar and line up with them, ready to dance. I realize I'm wearing jeans which is going to make this difficult. We dance on our own until the correct part of the song comes on. The entire bar is watching us. I'm really uncomfortable but I'm already there so I do the dance anyway. We receive cheers and applause and the DJ is recording us on his cell phone. I feel like I'm doing horrid because of my inopportune clothing, but most people are sort of drunk so it doesn't matter.

11:20: Harry finally arrives so I go and talk to him for a little outside, when I get a wave of extreme nausea and have to excuse myself to find the restroom.

11:22: Waiting in line, getting very nervous, oh thank god that person's done, I bolt inside.

11:23: I am vomiting my brains out. What the fuck is going on? Why am I the only one not drinking, and the only one puking? This is unfair. I wash my mouth and hands and put a piece of gum in. I feel completely fine now and am ready to go socialize.

11:45: Ally and Jessica are bored and want to go home, so I drive them back and return to Local Heroes.

12:30: Jim is very drunk and has his hands all over every girl there. I saw him make out with one girl, then try to kiss another, then try to kiss another. Two weeks ago, this would have been painful to watch, but now that I've decided he's an immature asshole, pity has turned into entertainment. It's pure comedy. It's like someone getting kicked in the nuts. You don't want to watch but you have to, because even though it's painful to look at you know you're going to laugh.

12:40: Harry sees me watching Jim and gets offended. "If that girl is his girl, am I your guy?" "What are you talking about?" "Am I your weapon in this little Shakespeare play you guys have going on?" "What?!" "He's so obviously trying to hook up with all of these girls to make you upset, and to make you uncomfortable. Are you using me to do that to him?" I find this ridiculous, because I actually told myself I was going to stay away from boys after I broke up with Jim, but Harry was there and told me he liked me and it felt right to start hanging out with him, and now I like him. I would like him whether or not Jim was in the room, so I assure him of this. I feel really bad that he thinks he's just a pawn in some game. I am in no way trying to win Jim back. I am much better off without him.

1:30: Jenny, Kim, Harry and I leave and go on a McDonald's/Taco Bell run. Kim is very drunk and very funny. Jenny is talking about nigs and Harry and I can't stop laughing.

1:40: After getting McDonald's for Harry and Kim, we go to Taco Bell for Jenny. The lady at the window is the most unfortunate looking woman I have seen in a long time, and Harry unintentionally lets out a "Dear God!" Thankfully she doesn't hear him and I insist he just shoves his face with McDonald's and shuts the hell up.

2:00: I drop Harry off at his house then drop off Jenny and Kim at their place.

2:01: SLEEP. Thank god. Long day. Still mad that I was sober and threw up, but whatever.

Lent, Day 9.

6:30: Snooze.

6:35: Snooze.

6:40: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH OUR HEATING!? I fling myself out of bed and run into the bathroom. I contemplate showering but realize that would require me to take my clothes off and expose my naked skin to the icey air. Fuck that. I stop again and realize this would be day 2 without a shower, but seriously, fuck it. I'm going to work out in between classes and shower before going out tonight anyway.

8:00: No Ethan. Again? I haven't seen him in a week, this is depressing.

8:02: Ethan scurries in - thank God.

8:35: This class is so fucking boring. I did find the Mediterranean food pyramid interesting though. I apparently eat like them already, I just need to add a little more fruit and vegetables to my diet. Go me.

9:05: Some girl named Rayna is giving a presentation on some bean, what the fuck ever. I ignore the words she is saying and focus on her accent. I am still trying to decide whether or not she's Australian.

9:15: I go to the gym and get on the elliptical. I realize I can play Words with Friends while I exercise.

9:35: I've gone 2 miles without realizing it because of this fucking game, I love it! It helps my mind and my body! Seriously, fucking download it and "Create a Game" with me. My username is sbliss.

9:50: I go to the bank and withdraw twenty dollars in ones. The guy looks at me funny. Do I look like I'm going to a strip club to you? I'm 4'11" and a girl. I have my own tits to play with. Back off.

10:00: I go to Wysocki's office to drop off the long-lost quiz he forgot in the classroom. I have changed most of my wrong answers. He says "I trust you," takes the quiz from me, looks at it, and says "Thank you for being so responsible. I appreciate it. Sorry again." HA.

11:00: I go to Photography and play Words with Friends for an hour and a half until a printer frees up and I can make the ONE FUCKING PRINT I NEEDED and leave.

1:00: I go sit in the breezeway with Britni for Phi Alpha's rummage sale. Everything is like 25 cents, of course no one wants it. Make everything 10 dollars and people will be climbing over each other for it, because that means it's fucking worth something. Common sense, people. Also, why is this shit in the BREEZEway on the coldest day ever? This sucks. Even my coffee is shivering.

2:00: I go home and sit on the porch and read. I also paint my nails. They look like bubble gum and I am pleased.

3:00: I talk to Irene, our landlord, about the heat still being broken. She says her husband will be there shortly.

3:30: He arrives and fixes the heat. God bless this man. Irene calls while he's there and tells me she talked to the owner of the house and she got him to lower the rent to $1150. I am STOKED. I tell my roommates this and they are still wary of staying here. Dang it.

4:45: Paige and I go tanning. Why do I keep doing this? Why do I HAVE to do this? I live in Florida for Christ's sake.

5:30: Ally and I go to Pizzalley's because I have been craving their wings and fries.

6:00: We have an in-depth conversation about growing up and relationships and such with the black guy that hands out samples. I really need to remember his name, or learn it. I used to go there all the time so when I walk in he FREAKS out and goes "WHERE has this smile been? These eyes? I've missed you beautiful. Has your boyfriend made you stay home? You don't HAVE one? Well, I bet there's men lined up for miles with roses and champagne, because you are WORTH fighting for honey. You're like that sunshine that brights up a room." Of course I'm smiling, mostly because I find this hilarious, so he keeps going on and on about how fucking great my smile is. I HAD BRACES, it's popular nowadays.

6:05: I have two wings and five fries and I'm full. What the FUCK, I was fully prepared to stuff my face. Lame. I put it in a to-go box.

7:15: I sit down with my roommates and talk to them about next year. We discuss pros, cons, and weigh our options. We decide to stay here. THANK GOD. We don't have to move a bunch of furniture. I really wasn't sure how that was going to work out. I'm very excited. This house may be old and shit might break but it's OUR house and OUR home now.

8:30: I am talking to Jenny about Hattie's. She offers to pick Ally and I up at 10:00, which is relieving, because Ally and I both really want to drink and Paige is staying home, so there was no one to drive us without being sober and pissed off. Success.

8:45: I am in a great mood, so I do Harry's accounting homework. He's away at a tennis match and the homework is due at midnight, so I do him a favor and copy my answers onto his account. No worries.

9:00: I put on my go-to outfit and sit in front of the computer for a while, reading Urban Dictionary's word-of-the-day, and googling my name. I'm the 7th link on Google! That's pretty impressive to be on the first page at all. I'm in an even better mood.

9:02: I get nervous that the guy at Hattie's will not accept my paper ID.

9:04: I realize I don't give a flying fuck and I will MAKE him accept my paper ID.

10:30: It took a little longer than they thought to cram everyone in the car and come over here, but I finally get a text from Jenny saying "outside." Ally is scared to use her paper ID and also realizes that A. it's freezing and B. she doesn't have any cash. I'm sad that she's not coming but I can't make Jenny wait, so I get in the car.

10:45: We arrive and I pretend to be on the phone while I show the guy my wallet. He's the strict bouncer. I'm sort of nervous and am looking at Jenny, like "Hope this works." He gives me my wallet back and asks if I want to "Sink or Swim" (meaning, do I want to pay a $2 cover and pay for my own drinks or pay $6 for a cup and get free drinks until midnight... what do you think I said?)

10:50: Vodka sprite. My beloved vodka sprite.

11:30: The night is going pretty normally, Jenny and I take the best seat (front patio by the door) to make fun of bitches in tube tops and encourage each other to keep drinking to make us warmer. Harry and company are sitting with us.

11:45: I get my second drink but set it down next to me, I need to take it slow, considering I'm the World's Lightweight Champion. I have a belt and everything.

11:50: I turn to talk to Harry and my purse collides with my drink and spills it all over the ground. Damn it.

11:52: Harry says I'm fucked, considering it's about five minutes until the free drinks end and I'm not brave/tall enough to approach the bar and get a refill.

11:52:02: He is mistaken. It's a bad idea to challenge me to do something, because I'll do it. I power walk into the bar and weasel my way through everyone. I am literally wedged between two 25 year olds sitting at the bar watching TV. My boobs are against one guy's shoulder and my butt is against the other guy's hips. I apologize, they say they "really don't mind."

11:55: I am back outside and triumphantly show Harry my full drink. He is impressed.

12:02: Jenny buys her and I lemon drops, but I am not very good at taking shots. I take a sip, then take a bigger sip, then give the rest to Harry.

Lent, Day 8.

8:30: I swear to god this house gets colder and colder every day. I don't know why we went through the trouble of getting the gas filled if the heater itself refuses to turn on. I really wouldn't give a shit but it makes it 100 times harder to leave my warm bed for class in the mornings.

10:00: Love of my life, Professor Knight, teaching accounting because it's what he does. I am literally goggly eyed and giggly in this class. Not because of the teacher, because of the subject. I am lame.

10:50: Harry's gentleman self walked the camera equipment back to the communications building with me, even though he also has class at 11:00 and it's totally out of his way. I decide I like him even more.

11:00: Media. Quiz. I guess on half of them and finish first. He's impressed but has a false impression. I'm not a genius, I just don't care enough to stare at the page and wait for answers to come to me.

11:15: Lili, Sean and I upload our footage. This is really draining, boring, and overall tedious but now that I have the files in my folder I can go to town on this video. I want to make Sailor Cher proud. I also want to do my belly button piercing justice.

12:00: I arrive at home and everyone is asleep. I make some lunch and plant myself on the front porch with my book, and listen to Bill's CD. Bill made me a CD last semester and it's actually great background music - really good stuff to read to or do homework to. Paige agrees.

2:30: I decide I should probably get up and do something, especially considering the air is starting to get brisk. I take myself back inside to work on homework in the kitchen. I would say "out of the cold," but it's probably colder inside the house than it is outside.

2:40: I walk past Ally asleep on the couch. Her blanket is dangling in a plate of ketchup she left on the ground. I poke her and inform her of this.

3:00: I work on Nutrition and Accounting homework, going through the motions of caring about school.

4:15: I go to Advertising Writing early to study for my midterm. Teresa is there and she gives me loads of information about housing at Las Palmas. It sounds awesome. $331 per person in a 3 bedroom, pet friendly, and the development has its own pool, park, fitness center and theater room. I am excited and definitely plan to look into this.

4:55: Class is about to start and I have been so busy looking at Las Palmas condos that I have completely forgotten to study.

5:10: He literally gave us all the answers, twice, then handed out the test. I filled everything in and handed it right back.

5:15: I pull out my iTouch and start playing Words with Friends. It's this free app that acts like a versus scrabble game. It's insanely addicting. Harry introduced me to it, and now I have like five games going with him and other people on the tennis team / his friends.

5:25: I realize this game is a lifesaver. As long as I have an internet signal and I keep its battery juiced, I will no longer be bored in class ever again.

5:30: We get into groups to make a 30-second TV ad about a company of our choosing. I, of course, am partial to Ms. Deborah's Fountain of Youth, because I've spent so much time there in the past week, and my group mates are cool so they agree. Mike is funny and handles the dialogue and sound effects, and I handle the storyboard drawings. We decide Ben Stein has a sleeve of tattoos hidden under his sweater vest and he wants to tell the world how awesome Ms. Deborah's Tattoo Studio is. The commercial is funny.

6:25: My group goes to the front of the class to present, and I am handling the ELMO (that projector-type thing), when I glance down at the mouse. Wedged under the mouse pad is my quiz from earlier today. I am very confused. I grab it and after we sit back down I e-mail my teacher asking what I should do.

6:30: I realize I have my quiz. Outside of class. And my textbook. I go from confused to excited.

7:15: I go home and remember that Paige's dad is in town. How do I know this? Our kitchen is full of snacks and goodies. We're poor college kids. We can't afford "goodies." I immediately wrap my entire body around a large container of peanut butter pretzels.

7:30: Paige and Dotty (her dad's nickname) get home and we talk for a while. He is hilarious. She is hilarious. They are clearly related.

8:15: Harry informs me he's on his way over and I immediately tidy up and use a little perfume. I doubt he'll care or notice, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

8:30: He arrives and it's the usual - I'm doing accounting homework and he's playing Words with Friends. I decide we're boring and we need to switch it up, so we go into the living room and watch Role Models. He's comfortable to lay on.

12:15: We end up being lazyasses and not doing a thing all night. We watched the end of Taken, all of Role Models, two episodes of Scrubs and half an episode of South Park. I guess you could consider this productive? That's a stretch. Neither of us want to move because we're exhausted and cold, but it's late and we have early classes, so we force ourselves to get up.

12:30: Smooooooooooches.

Lent, Day 7.

6:30: FUCK MY LIFE.

8:00: We learn about Coronary Heart Disease today, which basically means I get to look at pictures of corroded arteries and blood clots, and listen to an analogy about how CHD is like a pimple and the plaque on the artery is like the puss of the pimple. I literally am about to vomit considering I JUST ate breakfast. Bagel with cream cheese, which, at 8AM, looks a lot like puss.

8:45: I am now scared for my life. Van Doren keeps telling our class that we're already on the road to a heart attack, and one at a young age. There's nothing we can do. 50% of first heart attacks are fatal. FUCK YOU, LADY.

9:20: I go to the gym and throw the treadmill on 7.5 incline and walk briskly for a while. Surprisingly, walking fast uphill feels like it does a hell of a lot more than running on a flat surface... I might do this more often.

9:40: Gettin' my swell on with the free weights, ughhhhhhhh.

9:50: Doing ab work-outs is still sort of difficult, because I can only do about 1/2 of the work-outs I usually do until my belly button is a little more healed. I'll just have to eat a little healthier until then... fuck.

10:00: I "enjoy" my slim fast meal bar and fuck around on the internet until Photography class.

10:50: I arrive a little early so I can catch Jim on the way out to get the book, but of course he's nowhere to be found.

11:00: The "midterm," or quiz, is cake compared to the last one. Thank God for common sense.

11:30: We head into this secret photography conference room to discuss portraits and self-portraits. I already have six distinct images in my mind:

• Paige: (1) Lying on the grass on the West Lawn, hair twisted into separate designs. It's long and blonde and will look good against the green. What's visible of her in the photo will be bare, so I guess she'll have to wear a tube top. (2) Lying on her bed, book open in front of her. Light streaming through the window as she rests her head on her chin and looks contemplatively outside.
• Harry: The tennis courts have chain-link fence, so I want him to grasp the chain-link fence, with the fence between him and I, the camera only sharply focused on his hand and the fence, with the rest of him out of focus in the background. Could be cool in black and white.
• Guillermo: He has a very simple yet interesting front porch, and he is always always out there smoking a cigarette, so I want to just capture him in his element.
• Myself: (1) Harsh light from above (or maybe below) so there are severe shadows on my face. Head-shot only. Photoshop stitches onto my lips to make it look like they're sewn shut. (2) Facing away from the camera, light streaming in from a window and hitting my back, naked, the shot being from the hips and up. Hands mock-putting up my hair, revealing my tattoo and giving my body a nice figure.

12:30: Sit outside and talk to Momma Bliss. There's blow-up shit everywhere, like a bouncy castle, a velcro wall, an obstacle course and a slide. My first question is "What the fuck is all of this for? It's a Tuesday. Nothing is important about this day except that it's Tuesday." My second question is "Have I been tricked? Did I apply to a large daycare? Am I even getting a college education right now? Shit."

1:00: Go to the Admissions office to do my final hour of community service for February. I made copies and stuffed folders for Campus Visit Day. Enthralling, let me tell you.

2:00: It's beach-weather outside, but of course with my lack of car, I can do nothing about that. Good thing we have our bitchin' porch set up. I sat outside and read/did homework with Paige until four, when I had to go get the camera equipment from the Communications Building to (finally) finish our filming for our Media class' field project.

4:15: Sean picks up Lili and I so we don't have to walk the equipment all the way to Ms. Deborah's.

4:30: Everyone is there and in a great mood. We are pleased with this.

4:40: We interview Molly, Sailor Cher's daughter. She is very pretty and explains how she is her mother's boss, and also her sister's boss. I am shocked, I just thought she was the little receptionist girl. This is great footage.

4:45: We ask Molly to find someone else that might like to speak quickly about Sailor Cher. MS. DEBORAH HERSELF WALKS IN. She literally lives in Alaska and is NEVER in the shop. This is gold. I am so excited. She is 65-70, has a sick neck tattoo and is so obviously stoned. I want to be her friend so badly.

5:00: We are done with our filming! Painless! Now I will go home to log the footage so Wysocki doesn't shit on us in class tomorrow for not being organized.

5:30: I'm logging the footage on my porch and halfway through the material I realize I am about to watch my own belly button piercing, IT WAS SO WEIRD. HOLY.

7:10: I am still on the porch, doing other homework. Harry comes by to get a little bit of help with his accounting and sit with Paige and I out front.

7:45: Harry, like the English gentleman that he is, walks me to Phi Alpha. All of the girls in my sorority see this and giggle like five year olds. I blush a little bit.

8:30: The meeting is quick and I walk home.

10:00: Ally and I try to go to Hattie's, but the bouncer was being strict with the people in front of us so we get nervous and leave. Looks like Thursday is my only night out. Probably better.

11:30: Goodnight!

Lent, Day 6.

8:30: I roll out of bed and get in the shower. MWF are a lot easier to wake up for, for two reasons. One, my first class isn't until 10:00, and two, my first class is accounting, which is also my favorite class. On TR, my first class is at 8:00, so I have to wake up at 6:30, and it's Nutrition, which is always either disgusting or boring as fuck.

9:30: I realize no one cleaned off the table or did the dishes from dinner the night before, so my OCD takes over and I spend the next 15 minutes cleaning up the kitchen mess.

9:45: I have 15 minutes to get to class and I still have a towel on my head, perfect.

10:02: I finally arrive at class and take a random seat considering someone took mine. Greg makes a comment about me being the star pupil in the class. (We got our first test back last Friday and I got 100%. Shut it, be happy that I'm finally good at something and happy with it.)

10:04: We spend the rest of class learning about merchandise inventory and shipping costs. I like it. I also have been texting Harry. He joked "I was really worried when you weren't here on time. I seriously thought you got hit by a truck or something." I would never miss this class if I could help it, he's right.

11:00: I arrive at Mass Media Production and the A-Team for Radio production turns in their radio ads and radio newscasts. He spends the next 15 minutes going over questions about the field project (the video biography) and the grading system for our previous project. I get a 10.75/15, but whatever. The class is out of 200 points, so missing 4.25 isn't going to kill me. I also am having a hard time caring about this class, because although it's diverse and interesting, I am no longer a communications major and therefore do not need this class.

11:30: Paige and I are both out of class early, and it's beautiful out, so we contemplate taking our homework to the West Lawn (a portion of campus) to get some stuff done and maybe get some color. We think of a better idea - we have a spare futon in the front room, and we also have an empty front porch. We vaccuum the porch, move the futon outside, decorate with some 7th grade Claire's butterfly lights, and have ourself a really nice outside sitting area.

1:45: We have no food in the house, so Paige and I decide to get off the couch/futon and go to WalMart for a little quality grocery shopping. I decide I'm in love with the new outdoor setup and will be spending a lot of time out here.

2:15: We stop at the tanning salon first. I'm really not supposed to use tanning beds for a while because of my piercing, but I go anyway because Paige pays for me. After 3 hours of sitting on the beautiful weather on my porch, laying in the warm bed just relaxes me even more.

2:35: I go into the bathroom and wash the piercing thoroughly. I did feel pretty gross after getting out, but I've got color fasho. My friend says saying "I got color today," isn't PC, but they can go fuck themselves because "I got tanner" sounds stupid.

3:00: It's starting to rain and WalMart is its usual hell hole. There are twice as many pregnant teenagers there as Planned Parenthood.

4:00: Paige and I for some reason decide we have endless amounts of cash and go crazy with the "fresh" produce section. She ends up spending sixty-something dollars and I end up spending a little over forty. I discover Multi-Grain Creamy Ranch Pringles. SO delicious. SO worth the $1.38.

4:10: We stop at Target because we realize we forgot foil and salad dressing. Why is foil not with Target's food section? Why is it all the way on the other side of the fucking store? Christ.

4:20: Paige and I go to the gym and I decide to work on my legs. No part of my body is perfect, but my legs are what I'd really like to tone down. I have what I like to call Thunder Thighs, although my friends say I'm too harsh on myself. It's less about what people think of me and more about how comfortable I am in my own clothes.

5:39: We arrive back at home and make a delicious dinner. I have Spaghetti Squash and Paige has a beef patty, baked potato, and some other stuff. We decide to go to the library at 8:00 to work on our homework.

7:30: Jim FB chats Paige asking her for the photography book. The photography book which we share. The photography book which we both paid for. The photography book that would be used to study for the test we have tomorrow. Luckily, I'm a very nice person and I cough it up. It's mostly self-explanatory anyway, it's over lighting and Photoshop. Lighting will most likely be common sense, and I took two graphic design courses in high school.

7:55: Paige goes right on Carrera to drop the book off at Jim's, and I go left down Carrera to the Communications building. My media group is finally going to finish our video biography tomorrow so I needed to sign us up for the camera equipment.

8:20: I go to the Photo Lab to print my final pictures for our Line, Texture and Point of View assignment. There are maybe 4 people in there, and in walks Jim. He sits almost directly across from me but does not make eye contact, and does not say hi. I'm not surprised, but it's starting to make me angry. Minimal contact is expected, but to completely ignore my existence is pretty immature.

8:40: I walk to the library and find Paige in the computer lab.

9:15: I am in a complete and utter state of bliss (no pun intended). I am playing Words with Friends on my iTouch, doing accounting homework, sitting with my lover/roommate and listening to Coldplay. I tell Harry this and add that the only thing that would make it better would be a comfy couch and an albino body pillow.

10:30: Paige and I pack up, go home, have a little snack and go to bed.

Almost a week completed! I seriously haven't missed Facebook once. I'm proud of myself.

Lent, Day 5.

9:45: Wake up and shower - it's a beautiful day, both roommates are at work and there's a tennis match at noon.

12:36: Wander over to the tennis matches in a hoodie, sweatshirt and Uggs. What is wrong with me?
2:30: I've endured just about as much of this as I could, so I go home and change into a t-shirt and shorts.

2:45: Harry comes off the courts and sits with me. He's basically albino, therefore burning alive. I'm catching some nice color. He makes me laugh and introduces me to some of his friends.

3:15: Ally arrives and brings me a Jolly Rancher pop. BOMB. By this point I have a definite t-shirt/shorts tan. I supposed awkward color is better than no color at all. Harry comes off the courts again and makes Ally and I laugh. She has a very supreme taste in humor, so it makes me happy that she thinks he's funny.

4:00: Ally announces that for the first time in a while, she has enough cash to do a little shopping, so we leave early and go to the outlets.

5:55: I buy a pair of the ever-popular Nike running shorts. Do I run? Not really. Do I need $23.00 shorts? Not really. Will I wear them? Sure. Worth it.

7:00: The outlets close at 6:00 on Sundays, so Ally and I head home. She Facebooks for a bit while I tidy up the house and set the table for family dinner. Every Sunday evening, one of the 8 of us (Myself, Ally, Paige, Jessica, Jim, Max, Christopher, or Jerry) cooks dinner for the rest of us. My turn was last week, when I made veggie bars, three cheese lasagne and chocolate chip cheesecake. This week it's Jim's turn.

7:15: Harry texts me, says I missed the best part of the match (apparently Tim pulled one out of nowhere) and we plan to hang out around 9:00 to play a little Left4Dead2 at his place.

7:30: Dinner was supposed to be at seven, but whatever. Food is food. He arrives with Chicken Pot Pie, which for some reason smells like weed. Not necessarily a bad thing, but he probably just burned the crust.

7:35: Jim decides it'd be easiest for everyone to bring their plates into the kitchen so he can just serve us our portion. I'm third in line, and realize behind Ally that he is going to be serving me food. Minor, but major in a way - we have to interact. He asks how much I'd like, I said a small piece is fine, and he attempts to cut me a piece, which ends up just being the top crust. He laughs and scoops up some of the insides and puts it on my plate, I say thanks, he says sure thing, and we move on. Most interaction we've had since we broke up. Sad.

8:00: We're all finished eating and we begin to play with the nametags and remains of our food as we all talk. Jim and I don't converse. We converse in circles - to everyone else but each other. I would rather not have it this way, but it's not up to me. I'm the one that broke up with him, so however he chooses to cope is entirely his decision.

8:35: We're all still talking. We usually eat at 7, talk until 8, and go on our ways, so I begin to get nervous. Jim was enraged when he found out I had kissed Harry two days after we broke up, so I'd rather not announce to everyone that I must go because I plan to hang out with Harry.

8:45: I start contemplating how long it will take me to get to Harry's on my bike.

8:50: I decide it's about time to leave. I have no idea why everyone is still here, but of course this would be the one night no one has anything to do after dinner.

8:52: I grab my purse, the game, and head back to the kitchen. I say my goodbyes and a couple people ask me where I'm going. I reply with "Outtt," and change the subject. Ally stops me and asks me again where I'm going. Again I reply with "Out." At this point, half the people know where I'm headed, but I cannot bring myself to announce that I'm going to Harry's in front of Jim. I've hurt him too much already.

8:59: I arrive at Harry's and head upstairs to his apartment. Dave, Gino and Yogi are also present. They're all funny guys. We start massacring zombies.

9:50: Gino is amazed that he's watching a girl play video games, and Harry is laughing that I'm teaching him tips and tricks, such as what certain zombies are called and which buttons do what. I notice he owns Guitar Hero 5, so I immediately challenge him to a duel. He raises an eyebrow and says, "Do you even play on hard?" I scoff. Expert. He's in disbelief so we change out the game.

10:05: My turn, I fail the song immediately. I blame it on the calibration and he gives me a doubtful look. I reset the alignment of the notes and timing then try again. 91%. Told ya.

10:15: Turns out Jen is having people over and Dave has mass amounts of homework to do at the library, so that conveniently leaves Harry and I alone. He is very upset that I've never seen an episode of House, so I suggest we watch it.

10:25: Harry pulls me into him on the couch and lets me lay against him. It's been a while since I could relax with someone, so this is nice. I decide I really like his English accent. A lot.

12:15: After a couple (pretty good, I must admit) episodes of House, I decide it's time for me to leave so I can get some sleep before accounting class in the morning. I get up to walk away and he tells me to wait, to come back. I walk back over and sit next to him and he says "No, no, stand back up." I look at him strangely and at the same time he said "Trust me." I say "I don't trust you." We laugh and I stand up anyway. He pulls me close to him and says, "Damn, I thought I'd be able to kiss you sitting down if you were standing. I guess you're not as short as I thought." I'm 4'11" and he's 6'4". Kind of funny looking if you were a random onlooker I suppose. I lean down and kiss him anyway, but just a peck. I just got out of a really serious relationship and although I like Harry, I need to take things really slowly, for both of our sakes.

12:30: Day 5 - success.

Lent, Day 4.

10:45: I wake up and shower to go to the group solicit at the outlet mall for the golf tournament Phi Alpha is hosting in March. It's raising money for breast cancer, I have boobs, I agree to help. I'm still high.


11:30: Kim and I meet everyone in the breezeway at school. 17 of us signed up. Seven of us were there. I am a trooper.


12:15: We arrive at the outlets. This shit is supposed to last from 12-1, and we're already 25% done. Nice.


12:30: So far, Kim and I have gone to Nike, Factory Brand Shoes, some luggage story and Eddie Bauer. Clearly they're all corporate chains and no one can donate shit. Why are we here again? My high is wearing off.


1:15: Kim is sick, and miserable, and near tears, so Kaitlyn (the VP of Phi Alpha, and head of the Baby family) lets us go.


1:45: I text Rose to see if she'd like to go to the tennis match (Harry is on the tennis team, and it's a beautiful day). She is already there, I walk over.


1:50: Jim is leaving the tennis courts right as I approach the gates. I'm sure he heard I was on my way and wanted nothing to do with that situation.


2:10: Rose and Max are still high and need a nap, so they leave me at the courts.


2:20: I feel uncomfortable by myself, so I leave as well.


2:30: Ally and Paige are both at work, and I have absolutely nothing to do, so of course I end up wallowing in self-pity and crying over Jim. It's not that I miss him as a boyfriend, I just miss him in general. Going from someone being your best friend and boyfriend to non-existant is pretty hard. I am alone and bored and pitying myself. I text Paige and tell her she must come home from work immediately because I am a depressed idiot.


2:40: My mom calls to talk and can immediately tell I'm upset. She says the magic words: "Sara, are you alright?" and the waterworks ensue. Damn it mothers and their telepathic powers.


3:00: Mom has talked me down and I sit down in front of the television to distract myself.


5:30: Rose wakes up from her cannabis coma and asks what I'm up to. I suggest we go to Scarlett O'Hara's and get french fries.


7:45: We ended up staying there a really long time, talking about every boy that we've ever been interested in and has ever done us wrong. For a 17 year old, she's pretty fucking smart and mature. I decide I will really miss her when she goes back to Rochester.


8:00: I hang out with Rose while she gets ready for the night. It's still Max's birthday and he's decided to replace all of the lightbulbs in his house with black lights and blare house music through his sound system. Cool idea; bring the club to us.


11:00: People arrive at Max's. Max is nowhere to be found. We call him and he claims to be on a beer run.


11:59: Max is still on said beer run, everyone else has left and gone to a party on 13th street. Not my scene.


12:15: The Spaniards are still on Max's front porch, and AP Spanish did some good, so I listen and join in when I can. They eventually decide to also go to 13th, when James comes to the rescue and invites me over to Gavin's. Gavin is a year older and equally (if not more so) nerdy than myself. I've known him longer than I've gone to this school, thanks to Facebook, and he's a really great kid.


2:05: I am freezing and using the pizza Gavin and his roommate, Nick, ordered to keep me warm. We are watching Family Guy reruns. I like my company, but I want to go home but don't want to walk.


3:00: I am finally home and snug in my bed. Day four - survived!

Lent, Day 3.

6:55: I wake up to the sun streaming in through my window. I pull the shade down and go back to sleep.

8:35: I roll around in bed for a while, forcing myself to get up. I'm not hungover, but I barely got any sleep considering the heat in the house is broken and I basically spent the entire night convulsing in the fetal position. On a related note, there is a giant fucking knot in the middle of my back.

9:45: I begin my walk to class, and text a few people expressing my apologies. I wasn't even drunk last night. I hate apologizing for things I did sober, it means I ACTUALLY fucked up. I texted Teresa saying "Sorry for being mega-bitch last night, that's not like me." I got a "No worries I understand." She probably won't sit next to me in class next week. Whoops.

10:00: My bliss - Accounting class. Everything is done one way, and one way only. Each number has its place and it stays put. I like being in control, considering I never seem to have much.

10:50: Class ends, Harry asks me to come to the dining hall with him, but I have a date with Lili. I grab James (a good friend from accounting) by the satchel and drag him to the Communications Building with me.

11:00: Lili arrives, and we're ready to make a radio ad. She has her script, we have our two women and James is conveniently there to be the announcer.

11:04: She's nervous and doesn't know how to work the audio board. I confidently go for the Monitor Volume and I get basically electrocuted by the shock it produces. I yelp and kick one of my legs up in reaction, which slams into the underneath of the desk. Worst 5 seconds of the day.

11:30: James and I decide to go to Schmagels, a great little bagel/brunch cafe near campus. We meet up with Paige and Rose and do our favorite thing: Recap. To recap is to go over each individual important detail from the night before, whether it be funny, embarrassing, or shocking. I mention to them that Dave was texted me on the ride home basically inviting himself over. Paige mentions he warned her he might show up on our porch in boxers one of these nights. I laugh.

12:30: James leaves for class, Rose goes home, and Paige and I go back to the house and take a nap.

3:48: The "nap" ended up being over three hours long, and I miss my work study in the Admissions Office. Go me.

4:00: I hop in the shower to get ready for Baby family dinner. (Let me briefly explain: I joined Flagler's ONLY sorority, Phi Alpha Omega, because I felt like I didn't have enough female friends, and I didn't do anything to give back to the community. Since PAO is a community service organization, I decided to join last semester. So far, so good. Within the sorority, there are smaller "families." Mine used to be named Orphans, because it was for people whose big sisters quit or graduated, but they decided that was depressing and changes it to Babies. Now we're infants? Not much better - if I would have been present we could have been Dragonslayers or Zombiebutchers, but no.)

5:15: Kim arrives (also a Baby) and we begin our walk to Aculpolco (spell check please? It's a Mexican restaurant downtown near the Fort).

5:16: We see Joey sitting on Cory's porch, and I express to him my relief that he is indeed alive and breathing. He says "Thanks, I actually sent you a Facebook message about--" but I cut him off and told him my lent situation. The guys laugh and tell me that's a good idea. I tell Joey not to worry about it and we continue forth.

5:35: We're the first people there. We find a decent sized table and order water and chips with salsa.

5:45: Most of the girls have arrived, and the dinner begins. Idle chit chat ensues, consisting of changing your major, dorm rooms, boobs and phi alpha. I half-volunteer to run for secretary for next year's e-board. I like to organize things, and it'd give me more motivation to show up to the meetings. I also look cute in pink (barf).

6:15: I receive a text from Paige: "Calling all potheads! Max is baking firecrackers for his birthday so if you want in, text me back." (Firecracker = Ritz + peanut butter + ground up cannabis.) I perk up and once again put effort into the conversation.

6:50: We go to pay for our food and I realize I left my wallet in Paige's purse from Hattie's the night before. Kim volunteers to pay for me, bless her soul.

7:00: I go to the bank with Paige to pay Kim back and fork over money for Max.

7:15: I arrive at Kayla's apartment (Phi Alpha e-board member) for a Sweethearts Movie Night. This consists of wine, valentines and a mushy gushy romantic comedy. I take a cookie, drop of my Valentines and leave. Firecrackers are calling.

9:30: I eat my firecracker.

10:00: Still sober. We go to Alejandro's apartment to continue smoking with him, Guillermo, J-P and Raleigh.

10:30: I do a gravity bong and take a hit off Turtle, their mini-bong.

10:40: They have a small aquarium with black goldfish, small turtles and a shark. I spend the next 10 minutes telepathically explaining to the shark, Roach, that he is far too small to be a shark, and that sharks don't have scales. He ignores me.

11:00: I can literally feel the blood in my muscles. I let everyone know this, then proceed to sit incredibly still in order to try to stop the tingling. I realize soon that no matter how still I am, as long as I am breathing, the blood will continue to flow. Interesting.

11:15: I become very aware of my body. My hair feels heavy, there is still a knot in my back, the blood is pumping through my body and my belly button ring. Good god, the belly button ring. I can feel it so much! I become paranoid that my high self will attempt to remove the piercing from my navel. I distract myself by taking pictures of Jessica and J-P.

11:52: It's 8 minutes until Max's 20th birthday. I squeal and announce this to everyone. I then realize 80% of the people had left. Where did the past half hour go?

11:58: TWO MINUTES!

12:00: I start a chorus of Happy Birthday for Max, joined by Rose, Paige and J-P. He's very pleased and takes another gravity bong in celebration.

12:15: Alejandro announces the guys are leaving to go play poker at Frenchie's, but says we can stay in his house if we'd like. I tell him that I am unable to move, so I will take him up on that offer.

12:45: I have spent the last 30 minutes thinking about scrabble. I peel myself out of the lawn chair in the corner of the room and poke Paige and Rose until they come back to the house.

12:50: I pass the fuck out. I dream that I am pregnant, the baby is kicking me, and I am okay with that.

Happy birthday, Maxi Pad.

Lent, Day 2.

8:15: Wake up because I had to pee. Realize my Nutrition class started 15 minutes ago. Say "Fuck it," and go back to bed.

9:30: Wake up, shower, and go to Photography class.

11:50: Doing absolutely nothing in Photog, decide to leave class early even though it isn't supposed to end until one.

12:00: Go to library and check out a book of photography. First time I've ever done this at Proctor Library; luckily it's pretty easy to figure out.

3:00: Go to Gym with Paige, realize I'm still wearing a regular bra.

3:05: I walk in, Jim (ex-boyfriend) is there. We avoid eye contact and I get on the elliptical. I am anxious and nervous, so I accidentally go a mile in 7 minutes. I would have liked to stay on longer but I realize my lungs are about to cave in.

3:12: I do weights, abs, more cardio, avoid, avoid, avoid.

4:30: Take birth control. No, I'm not getting any, I just have bad acne and it seems to help.

6:00: Eat dinner with Paige and decide it would be best to get to Hattie's as soon as possible, in order to get incredibly drunk. I then proceed to text everyone I know asking if I can borrow their ID for the night. I receive sketchy answers, so I give up and decide to go balls-out and use my photoshopped ID (printed on photo paper).

10:10: Arrive at Hattie's with Paige and Kim. Beads are thrown at me. I try to dodge more beads and hand the bouncer my wallet, hands sweating, and he waves me off. "I recognize you, hun - go on in." EXCUSE ME, WHAT? I've been there maybe four times in my life, using a different ID every time, and you RECOGNIZE ME? I love it.

10:15: I order my first drink - vodka sprite. I try to drink slowly but I see my ex-boyfriend so I subconsciously drink faster. Joey from Media class comes up to me and strikes up a boring conversation. Bartender - another vodka sprite please.

10:45: I see my ex humping some girl I know (I know quite well) on the dance floor. I'm not drunk, but I am buzzed enough to text Teresa, the hump victim, and threaten her. "We're good friends, but if you hook up with Jim that no longer applies." I'm apparently a psycho ex-girlfriend. I accept this. She texts back, "Don't plan on it," but I saw that she showed him the text message, so I said "That's it." She replies, "Whoaaa, don't plan on it." And I got a text later that said "We're just friends." Alright.

11:40: I am sitting out front on the patio with Paige. Joey Media Class approaches me again and has apparently been racing himself to the blackout finish line, because he can barely talk. He is looking at me, struggling, trying to use some god forsaken pick-up line but still cannot bring himself to talk. Meanwhile, I am getting text messages from Dave and Harry, asking where I am. I am more prompt to let Harry find me, because he has other qualities besides being good-looking.

12:00: Harry sits next to me to find Joey just holding onto my hand, head hung. Toasted. Harry realizes this and ignores the hand holding, assuming I was just taking pity on this poor drunk bastard. He's right.

12:30: Paige brings up the fact that she has never kissed a girl, and that most people think her and I are dating anyway. She receives encouragement from multiple guys to kiss me, and I turn away from her. She can do whatever she wants, kissing is just kissing, but I doubt she has the balls to do it.

12:31: I was wrong. She kissed like a French native.

12:32: Paige is very excited and is reacting positively towards the cheering she hears from the male onlookers. I am happy that I got to pop her "kissing-a-girl" cherry. She is happy too.

12:33: A few guys start taunting her, saying they didn't see anything and that she didn't actually kiss me. Paige becomes frustrated. So frustrated, in fact, that she grabs my face and kisses me again. More tongue. Nice.

12:45: Joey is still slumped over on the bench when a couple of his friends, George and Mike, come over to help him. They try talking to him and only get mumbles in response. Paige is laughing uncontrollably, saying things to Joey about how much of a drunken fuck he is. Mike gets very upset, and screams back, "YOU HONESTLY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN SIT HERE AND MAKE FUN OF MY FRIEND, WHEN HE CLEARLY CAN'T RESPOND? Real nice, you're a fucking bitch." The bantering goes on for a minute or so until they successfully drag Joey to the church van. (The Youth Group kids sit out front in a van until the bar closes at 2am, available to drive anyone honestly too drunk to drive back to campus. Praise the Lord.)

1:00: Harry and I are having a nice conversation, when Jim decides to come up and ruin everything by trying to force his legs upon Paige. Paige pushes him off and full on ignores him, continuing to talk to some girl, Emma, from her class. Jim remains there until Harry and I walk away. Jim follows us again. This continues a couple more times until I bring Harry back outside and we sit behind Paige, out of view from Drunk-As-Fuck-Ex-Stalker. Success.

1:15: A black guy is thrown out of the bar cursing and screaming, clearly freshly punched in the face. "WHO THE FUCK PUNCHED ME?! WHAT THE FUCK, DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS! WHO THE FUCK DID THIS?" Six out of seven of the bouncers are holding this guy back, because he's pretty juiced, pretty drunk, and pretty angry. He is exerting so much force upon the bouncers that Bouncer 7, who is upstairs, apparently finds it necessary to help. Immediately. By immediately, I mean he jumped off the roof of the bar and catapults himself onto the angry black man. (Angry black man, you never hear those words in the same sentence, weird). I text my other roommate Ally to come pick me up.

1:30: Ally arrives, I grab Paige, Rose, and J-P and we go home. Nighty night, crazy fucks.

Topic #9: Facebook.

     Everyone says they can't live without it, so I'm challenging them. Lent began today, and I am going to go 40 days and 40 nights without the apparently necessary-to-function social networking site.
    As you can see, it's been almost 24 hours, and I am still a breathing, blood-pumping, functioning human being. This isn't so bad.

I'm going to try to document all of the things that I do INSTEAD OF get on Facebook. It will probably be incredibly boring, but if we're being serious, this is probably the only thing I have going for me right now.

Today! Day One. 
9:45: I went to accounting class and took my first test of the semester, which I think went well. I recently changed my major to accounting, and I enjoy it a lot. I do the homeworks for fun, so I will be pretty upset if I bomb this exam.

11:00 I then skipped Media Lab, opened all of my windows and shades, propped my feet up on my desk and read a few chapters of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. It's a great book, really, but although some of the things I read are terrible, or mean, or whatever - nothing has surprised me or thoroughly disturbed me yet. Does this mean the book was hyped up too much, or that I'm incredibly perverted and nothing shakes me? He keeps referencing his age, i.e. was 24 in 2000, so now that he's 34, I am incredibly curious as to what he's doing with his life. Oh Tucker Max, my biggest question of all is how are you still living? ARE you still living? I applaud your liver.

1:45: I went to the school's art gallery with my roommate Paige, so she could get some work done for her Visual Culture class. The stuff in there was pretty interesting, but the level of talent is about what I expected.

2:00: We give up on the mediocre masterpieces and head over to the courts to watch Flagler's tennis match. Beautiful day, but of course my busy schedule doesn't allow me to enjoy the weather for longer than 45 minutes.

2:50: I rush off to Ms. Deborah's Fountain of Youth (tattoo and piercing parlor)  to film a video biography of Sailor Cher (their piercing artist) with a couple kids from my Mass Media Production class, Lili and Sean. Lili is your typical scene girl with the headbands and the Toms and the skinny jeans and the nose piercing, and Sean is your typical New England Irishman, with celtic tattoos and a thick Phillie accent. We were going to film Danny from The Electric Chair over on the island, but he is of course too cool to call back, and I don't have a car to get there anyway, so we decide on Sailor Cher. She's one of those people you wish you were related to - genuine badass, ex-marine, giant tits and a tongue piercing. Oh, did I mention she's like 60? Yeah. She pierces for a living - can't beat Navy retirement. She was a journalist in the navy, so she has a little paper in St. Augustine now, called The Chronicle, or something along those lines. She once was THIS close to getting kidnapped by the Prince of Saudi Arabia. He had a thing for her and wanted to make her his wife - if only things were that simple.

4:20: Long story short, we filmed most of the movie, got a little B-role, but realized we didn't have a good variety of shots. I took a deep breath, told myself it was all for the grade, then volunteered to let her pierce something on me so we could film it. I settled on bellybutton, forked over the money and we set up the tripod. Kind of scary that it's only day one of no Facebook and I'm already getting things pierced...

5:00: I walk from Ms. Deborah's to Advertising Writing with a Dum Dum and a smile. I am never spontaneous! It feels great. I decide to do random things more often.

5:10: I arrive in Advertising Writing, and show the class a YouTube video of a 30 second TV commercial I annotated.

5:30: Class is over. What a joke - supposed to be a 5-7:30 class. The day he keeps us past 6 is the day Tiger Woods swears off women.

7:15: Paige and I go visit Danielle at BrrBerry to get free frozen yogurt. I make a half-cup of plain with crushed Reese's cups. Alix and Brittany also decide there is nothing better than free froyo on a school night.

7:45: Paige and I drive to the gym to watch the Senior Night of boys' basketball. They get demolished. Whoops.

9:15: I wash my face and put in Disc 4 of Season 3 of The Office - one of the best discs in the entire show. Quality entertainment. Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica.

11:30: I turn on the space heater, curl up and fall asleep.

Day one - survived! No thoughts of Facebook aside from one person asking me if I saw so-and-so's ridiculous status. No I have not, and I probably will be the same person tomorrow whether I see it or not. I can do this!